The Best of '08: The Top 10 Horror Films

What a bumpy ride it's been. The thrill and subsequent disappointment of Diary of the Dead, the dizzying box office success of tween vampire romance Twilight, the emergence of new DVD shingles bringing a new slate of films to fans' home theaters... yes, it's been exciting. And, along with the usual awfulness that we horror fans are asked to endure, this has proven to be a great year for horror. Now I am here to list the 10 best horror films of 2008 and chew bubble gum. And I am all out of gum.


10) Cloverfield
Boom! Number 10 takes the old Gojira mythos and promises to deliver what every American horror nerd has wanted for decades - our very own American monster. Well, we got it thanks to producer J.J. Abrams and director Matt Reeves. Forget the shaky-cam gimmick (used to mostly-positive effect here) and the found footage schtick and focus on what makes this a monster movie worth seeing. The mad dash through the Manhattan subway tunnels, the lack of clear explanations, the glimpses of the behemoth as our protagonists struggle to survive - this stuff works. It is also important to note the significance of this film as an early release in 2008 that primed the pump for horror throughout the year. And, with a worldwide take of over $170 million, you can bet Cloverfield 2 will be swimming to shore soon.


9) Dance of the Dead
Like any mash-up, Gregg Bishop's winning combination of Romero-inspired zombie film and John Hughes-inspired high school comedy, Dance of the Dead will rise or fall based on the execution of these disparate genres. Crazily enough, it worked. The kids actually look like they belong in high school, the characters are sincere to wacky and the living dead stuff works, too. From the corpses rocketing from the graves to the zombie love scene that is so much more satisfying than you would imagine, this film won me over and left a grin planted on my face. Part of the Ghost House Underground series, this was one of the few American films under that shingle and easily the best of them.


8) Blindness
This movie took a drumming at the box office, but City of Men's Fernando Meirelles delivered an uncompromising parable with strong performances by Julianne Moore and Mark Ruffalo. The tale of a city struck by unexplained blindness and the ensuing imprisonment, the descent by the survivors into a state of tribal anarchy, all make this more than an art-house film. The images are often savage, and the cinematography ranges from the dreamily ephemeral to the caustic and bleak. This is not an easy movie, but a worthwhile one, and unlike any other movie I've seen this year.


7) Quarantine
[REC] is unquestionably one of the best horror films of this decade, but who would have thought that a remake could ever do it justice, particularly an Americanized remake with unknown directors? But, brothers John Erick Dowdle and Drew Dowdle took a formula that worked and made the correct decision to tamper as little with the elements as possible while still delivering a unique experience. The cause of the outbreak has changed, and some scenes were added to increase the run time, but this is as faithful a remake as you're likely to see without the shot-for-shot antics of a Funny Games. Jennifer Carpenter gives one of the year's best freak-out performances here, and the final fifteen minutes rocket into terror just like it's source material.


6) The Strangers
Much like [REC], Bryan Bertino's tidy little shocker doesn't do much differently, it just happens to do it well. The broken relationship of the film's protagonists quickly taes a back seat to the real point of this movie - scaring the hell out of people. For the genre devotees, there were complaints that the film wasn't gory enough, or savage enough, but that's not where The Strangers intends to go. Instead, it ratchets up the tension slowly and steadily, without the usual jump-scare gags that deflate these films so quickly. The unexplained assault on Scott Speedman and Liv Tyler's home-for-the-night becomes an exercise in home invasion horror that sometimes stumbes but never falls. The final moments spent with the killers and a pair of young boys is a satisfying treat, as well. Also notable for the massive mainstream success it achieved, Bertino's movie proves that people still want to be scared.


5) Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer
The top 5 kicks off with Jon Knautz' return to the old-fashioned monster movie with a hero that I hope to see more of. Despite some questionable effects later in the film, there are enough quirky characters to make up for some technical issues. Trevor Matthews turn as the title character is an absolute blast, and Robert Englund delivers a real performance here as a possessed professor. Funny and fun, one not to be missed.


4) Splinter
Hitting DVD soon, Splinter is still available in some theaters and On Demand for you Comcast people out there. Director Toby Wilkins should have a bright future ahead of him if this is the type of film he can turn out. What starts as a hostage/prison break film becomes an exercise in bio-horror that nips at the heels of such legendary shockers as Carpenter's The Thing. The new evil that Wilkins and writers Kai Barry and Ian Shorr have created is a terrifying blend of virus and animal that makes for some truly amazing moments as the parasite controls its hosts. And, a scene involving a box cutter and a cinder block ensures I will never look at home surgery the same way.


3) Inside (A l'interieur)
I have said it before, but there is something seriously twisted about the French lately. Whether it's the home invasion thrills of Ils, or the upcoming Martyrs, the best work in horror today is being done by the Gauls. One of the best examples of this is Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury's blood-soaked nightmare Inside. As a soon-to-be-mother prepares for the coming birth, she is terrorized by a woman determined to take the baby... straight from the womb if she has to. This is a movie that revels in its violence and executes the most violent scenes with something approaching art. After repeat viewings, I still squirm at the film's conclusion.


2) The Mist (Black & White)
Yes, I know Frank Darabont's The Mist was technically released in 2007, but this new black and white version of the film wasn't available until this year and is worthy of the slot. This is the version of this film, filled with deep shadows that shine in the format. The tale of a mysterious mist trapping shoppers in a grocery store has never felt more creepy, and the effects lend themselves well to the gray scale that permeates the film. The ending has split some viewers, but it has always seemed appropriately bleak to me. This is a movie about how bad things can happen to good people for no apparent reason, and how it's possible to fail despite best efforts. If you've never seen this one, see it in its b&w version first and you'll find a great reminder of the monster movies of the '50s and why they are still relevant today.


1) Let the Right One In
This should be no surprise to regular readers. This is the absolute best horror film of this year, and one of the finest of the year period. If it doesn't snag a Best Foreign Feature award at this year's Oscars, I'll be stunned. This quiet tale of a bullied boy and his vampiric protector plays like a sliver of glass inching through the bloodstream. The first viewing is a remarkable experience, but what is most pleasantly surprising is the way that images and moments from the film continue to resonate. The more it takes hold of you as a story, the deeper it becomes, working its way through the veins until you feel it freeze your heart with the horrifying possibilities of how the relationship between Oskar and Eli will continue. Astounding in every way.


So, there we are. Now, we peek over the horizon into a new year, one that promises to be every bit as intriguing as this one. Have the happiest of New Year's, gang, and we'll see you back soon for more reviews, news and opinion as LBOTL parties like it's 2009!

Back on the Soapbox

Time to time, I do a little Ichii the Killer/masochist thing and read the Brad Fuller blog on Bloody Disgusting. In his most recent post concerning the Friday the 13th remake, Mr. Fuller states that he wants the "haters" to "hate after you've had a chance to see the movie - not before." He goes on to pose the question, "If you are really a fan of horror films and Friday 13th specifically wouldn't you at least want to see Jason again?" Fair question.

I actually would like to see a new, amped-up Friday the 13th film, and I refuse to say that the film is going to be awful before seeing it. On those points, I completely agree with Mr. Fuller. My issue is with the creators of this remake having a less-than-enviable track record amongst the same horror fans that Platinum Dunes claims to be courting with this movie. Director Marcus Nispel helmed the superficial remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, a film that got the beats right, but left out the heart of the film, the things that made the original a classic. Where was the subtext? While Tobe Hooper hinted at the meat grinder that was the Vietnam War, Nispel and screenwriter Scott Kosar ignore the possibility to update not just the look of the film, but the sensibility, as well. The Iraq War seems to be on a lot of folks' minds, it turns out, and, despite the '70s setting, that can be addressed in an effective way.

Screenwriter Kosar went on to remake The Amityville Horror, and enough said about that. Damian Shannon and Mark Swift have replaced Kosar on this project, previously known for writing Freddy vs. Jason. Although that movie had a sense of fun about it, it's still a long way from being the reboot the franchise needed. The "haters" Mr. Fuller refers to are many of the die-hard fans who aren't knee-jerk responding to the idea of a Friday the 13th remake, many are responding to the who and why of the remake. If you told me that Quentin Tarantino was doing it, or, more realistically, a duo like Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury, I would be thrilled. I just don't believe Nispel understands fully the genre he is working within. Neither do I believe that Mr. Fuller or Michael Bay understand that a slasher can represent something else, and not simply be boobs and blood.

Ultimately, I could be horribly wrong about the creative team behind this movie. This may be the first Platinum Dunes production that races out of the gate and kicks ass for ninety minutes. I hope so. I really do. But I look at every other movie put out under this shingle, and my hopes dwindle. If only Mr. Fuller could criticize the critics in the same breath that he acknowledges the cinematic sins of the past, the argument would be far more believable. Still, opening night, I'll be in the theater, crossing my fingers that the hype is worth it, that Nispel can actually deliver an honest-to-god horror movie and not another well-marketed reminder of how awful a remake can be. But, my doubts are based on the history of the production comany and not the optimism of a producer. The final result will be a topic of discussion either way. I only hope that the joke isn't on the fans again, as it has been so often with Platinum Dunes.

Platinum Dunces Offers Holiday Cheer

Two quick notes to make that yule log burn a little brighter today. First, Platinum Dunces' remake of Rosemary's Baby, announced this year, has been shelved. The producers stated that, after workshopping the script, they could not find anything new or relevant to do with the story. With that precedent set, it's only a matter of time before the shingle shelves the remainder of its remakes and issues a public apology for its crimes against horror cinema. Well done, Dunces!

Secondly, a trailer is out for Imago Mortis, a movie with a high pedigree indeed. With the screenwriter of [REC] and producers of Pan's Labyrinth and The Orphanage behind the scenes, I had high hopes. After seeing the trailer, this is officially on my I-want-to-see-it-now list. Enjoy the trailer on the jump here, courtesy of twitchfilm.com.

Finally, best to all for the holidays, and keep an eye peeled for our best of 2008 next week. In the meantime, I think the evening calls for some nog-based beverages and the annual screening of the Bob Clark classic Black Christmas.

Bloody Valentine Trailer

So, gang, the adage that everything old is new again has us looking down the barrel of a slew of 3-D films. There's Tr2n, the new Final Destination film, and, of course, the January release of My Bloody Valentine 3-D. I have to say, it actually looks like it knows what it is and might be a hell of a lot of fun.

Review: Splinter

What do you do with a limited budget and a single set? If you're Sam Raimi, you make The Evil Dead. If you're Toby Wilkins, you make a nasty little movie called Splinter and rack up the wins at this year's Screamfest.

The film opens with a bang, as a gas and go employee is taking a breather outside the store when something sneaks up from the woods and makes him pay for that minimum wage gig. In the meantime, Seth (Paulo Costanzo) and Polly (Jill Wagner) are celebrating an anniversary with a night camping. Unfortunately, their plans, and the tent, are torn asunder and they are forced to head to town to find a celebratory motel.

Along the way Seth and Polly are stopped by Lacey (Rachel Kerbs), who stalls them on a lonely stretch of highway long enough for her sweetie, Dennis (Shea Whigham), to hitch a ride, too. Dennis is an escaped convict, heading for Mexico with Lacey to keep himself free and Lacey free of drugs. Things don't go as planned. In these movies, they never do.
Polly runs down a... a something... and the hostages and their captors must deal with a flat. When Seth, a biology student on his way to a doctorate, tries to convince a hysterical Lacey that the remains of the animal is not her lost "Ginger" and is, in fact, more of a paste than a solid at this point, the thing lunges, laying a serious freak-out on the pair.

Not until they arrive at the convenience store from the opening do we begin to realize the trouble our intrepid gang of escapees and hostages are in. The former employee is now a heap of flesh with black spines piercing his skin, and one of our characters doesn't make the move inside, instead becoming another host for the prickly parasite.

What follows is survival horror done well, as the remaining trio attempt to survive and escape, avoiding the parasite's hosts for fear of the slow death from within that infection promises. These characters feel a step above the usual treatment given to actors in most horror fare, and the dynamics between the two couples are an interesting launching point for some smart moves by the screenwriters. Seth's poor real-world skills are paid off well later as he redeems himself with his plan to make contact with the world beyond the store. Likewise, Dennis, the tough-guy escapee, takes some nice character turns.
But what's a horror movie without the horror? And that's where Splinter shines. Director Toby Wilkins knows how to craft a lean thrill machine of a movie and that's just what he does. In fact, the first two-thirds of the film fire on all pistons, barreling from simple atmosphere to genuine chills effortlessly. As a fan of the Cronenberg school of horror, i.e., it is the betrayal of our flesh that is the most terrifying, seeing Wilkins use a subdermal parasite as his boogeyman feels right. And it looks tremendous. The broken and twisted bodies of the hosts, clearly moving unnaturally under the will of the spiky creature, delivery category four shivers. This is an old-fashioned monster movie with great effects, solid acting, particularly by Whigham as Dennis, and an honest attempt to grab an audience and hang on tight.

Sadly, the final act of the film feels like a bit of a let-down. Not that it's bad, mind you, but some shaky and frenetic camera work during the final showdown detracts from the creature's reveal and the conclusion is a by-the-numbers affair. The biggest complaint I have is that the sense of discovering a new classic fades and the viewer is left with a very good, if not great experience. Still, this is a must-see for creature feature fans and contains some of the best bio-horror imagery in recent memory.

Splinter is available both on Comcast On Demand and in limited theatrical release before coming to DVD January 27th. Catch it in the theater if you can, then grab the DVD when it hits the street. This is a keeper.

Christmas Comes Early

Courtesy of ShockTilYouDrop.com, you are being given the first glimpse at the Steven Seagal magnum opus Against the Dark. You saw our first mention of it here, but simply talking about it cannot prepare you for the magic. Click here.

And, since we're talking trailers, how about the international trailer for The Horsemen, the Dennis Quaid vehicle about the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse? Have at it.

Zombie Returns to Haddonfield

According to a report in Variety, Rob Zombie will be writing and directing a sequel to his remake of Halloween. The report notes, as we horror fans know, that Zombie had notoriously stated that he would not be involved with a sequel to his re-imagining of the Carpenter classic, but things have changed.

In the article, which can be read in its entirety here, Zombie states that he will be under significant pressure to deliver the film by October of 2009. Furthermore, Zombie suggests that the sequel will not be a remake of Carpenter's Halloween II, but will continue to take the franchise in different directions.

As much as I disagreed with some of the choices made in Zombie's version of the film, there is no denying that he is an original voice, and, at the very least, provokes discussion with his movies.

New Trailer Time: Edges of Darkness

Ah, trailers, those little bits of film that fill one with optimism. Maybe the movie will be as good as these clips suggest. At any rate, here's a new one for the film Edges of Darkness which tells three tales revolving around the zombie apocalypse. Have a gander by hitting the link below.
Edges of Darkness Opening Teaser

Also, a trailer has emerged from the depths for The Dunwich Horror. Directed by Leigh Scott, who has delivered unto the world such Sci-Fi Channel gems as Flu Bird Horror and The Beast of Bray Road, the movie does boast Lovecraft adaptation alumnus Jeffrey Combs. Thanks to Dread Central for hosting the trailer.

Dunwich Horror Trailer
Uploaded by dreadcentral

Review: Let the Right One In

Tomas Alfredson's Let the Right One In is that rare piece of cinema that challenges the viewer beyond the walls of the theater. It is a peculiar little movie that will not let go. And, it's a film that I have been dying to discuss with those lucky enough to have seen this festival gem.

Superficially, this is a horror film about an alienated young man, Oskar, played smartly by Kare Hedebrant, bullied in his school and detached from his parents. Hidden in his coat is a knife that, when alone, becomes the tool of his revenge. As he stands, knife in hand, challenging his invisible torturers in the courtyard of his apartment building, he receives a dark gift in the form of Eli (Lina Leandersson).

Eli is the friend Oskar has been searching for - an outcast herself, she is intrigued by Oskar just as he is by her. Their moment of bonding comes over a Rubik's cube, but it quickly becomes a real relationship, constructed in moments under Alfredson's deft hand. Eli's peculiar habits, such as only coming out at night, woefully under dressed for the harsh elements, and her odd smell and pale demeanor, lead Oskar to the conclusion the audience has been in on from the outset. Eli is a vampire.
Her protector, an older gentleman who appears to have genuine care for Eli, has been gathering food for her, creating a stir in the community as some of the townspeople go missing and some are found, drained of blood. The town is on edge, and a little girl has been seen attacking grown men. The town is becoming a dangerous place for Eli. Even as Oskar stands up for himself in one of the film's strikingly sudden and harsh moments, his fascination with Eli grows.

To reveal anything about the film's last act is to give away some delightful moments and a few horrible ones. What Alfredson and screenwriter John Ajvide Lindqvist (who also wrote the novel) have done with Let the Right One In is to present a pre-pubescent relationship honestly, filled with moments that are incredibly tender, and layered them with an element of horror that makes the film not only tragic, but terrifying in its implications. The film exists outside the borders of the screen, and I have spent some time imagining Eli's life before, and the life after the film ends with genuine dread.
Let the Right One In is a film of beauty, despite some graphic imagery. Most of the real violence takes place off-screen, but that only drives the sensation of dread higher as the film unfolds. It is elegant and awful, with a conclusion that is haunting beneath the sweetness. That, perhaps, is this film's greatest achievement - to mask its horror with the bittersweet love of youth, a sex-less, uncomplicated relationship that exists in memory for all of us able to grow up. For Eli and poor Oskar, it's a love that continues. But for how long, and, frighteningly, to what end?

As a brief footnote, it is hard not to compare this film with the hit vampire love affair Twilight. Beyond the obvious similarity, that of a romance between a vampire and a human, there is little in common between these two films. Where Twilight is a clearly American, somewhat vapid take on the subject matter, Let the Right One In manages to be a film of depth and lingering horror. Let the Right One In is a film to be seen and discussed, insisting upon a real life after the lights rise in the theater. Twilight's impact lasts about as long as the popcorn munched when viewing it. Alfredson's film is stunning in its quiet, illuminating in its brutality and perhaps the best film of 2008. See it.

Review: Oldboy

Dae-Su Oh is a drunkard when we first meet him, showing off his daughter's present, a pair of angel's wings, to the authorities holding him. When his pal No Joo-hwan comes to get him, he disappears on that rainy night, leaving behind only the bag containing his daughter's present.

So begins Oldboy, the movie that has been reviled and revered in equal measures. Based on a comic, Oldboy is somberly narrated by Min-sik Choi as Dae-Su Oh, detailing his confusing at his own abduction, and the fifteen years of imprisonment which follow. At the end of his sentence, ignorant of his crime, Dae-su Oh is released with only the suit he wears, some cash and a cell phone. In this time, he has been framed for his wife's murder and his daughter has been sent to a foster home.
When he is confronted by his captor, a man Dae-su does not recognize, he is told that he has five days to solve the mystery of his captors, and, in so doing, may wreak his revenge. Along the way, he even finds a measure of love in the arms of Mido, a young girl who finds comfort in Dae-su's arms as she learns his tale of wrongful imprisonment.

There are so many wonderful things about Oldboy, it's hard to know where to begin. Is it the labyrinthine script, that never talks down to its viewers? Is it the energetic but unobtrusive direction by Chan-wook Park? Is it the stellar acting from the film's three leads? This is a movie with an exclamation point, expertly crafted, brilliantly executed and packs an ending that is emotionally devastating. Even if someone has ruined that ending for you, Oldboy is no one-trick pony. That gimmick alone doesn't propel the movie, it only emphasizes Dae-Su Oh's loss and shame.
If there's a flaw in the film, it may be the method it uses to explain how Dae-Su Oh was manipulated using hypnosis, which may stretch the leaps of faith in the film, but it worked for me. The new Blu-Ray transfer of the movie is gorgeous, and the subtitling is excellent (no "Good time fun" malapropisms). If you've never seen Oldboy, it is simply a film not to be missed. If it's been more than a year, revisit this revenge tale again to mine the beauty amidst the ugliness. One of the best films to appear this decade.

News Round-Up

First up, it's trailer time. The guys who brought you the better-than-average Dead Birds have reunited for the film Red Sands. Director Alex Turner and screenwriter Simon Barrett place a group of soldiers in the Middle East who disturb a local statue, unleashing a force beyond their control. Even the plot is reminiscent of their previous effort, which is one to check out if you have missed it. Enjoy the trailer!
RED SANDS TRAILER


Rob Schmidt, director of Wrong Turn, which is still one of those guilty pleasures of mine, is now attached to direct a film called The Abiding. Based on details from Bloody Disgusting, this sounds like a thriller-style slasher where a killer manipulates his victims through personal knowledge to harm themselves or others. The reason I'm excited begins and ends with the title. Will The Dude make an appearance? Will this finally be the Lebowski philosophy brought to film once more? probably not, but many jokes will follow.

Platinum Dunces is adding to their list of atrocities. Producer and lead defiler Brad Fuller says that they are not green-lighting any sequels for their remake of Friday the 13th Part II, which is what this movie is, let's all be honest, here, until they get numbers from opening weekend. Isn't that saying, "There's no artistic reason to make a sequel, but if the remake earns some cheddar, no reason not to go back to that well!" Sons of bitches. Worse, they've announced that A Nightmare on Elm Street is definitely getting the remake treatment through the Dunces. And, they have an original film called The Horsemen coming out starring Dennis Quaid, written by Dave Callaham, the guy who did the adaptation of Doom. Please, gang, don't see these Dunces films. It's not supporting the genre at this point, it's just supporting bad films.

Anchor Bay Loses Friend of Horror

I initially caught this report on Bloody Disgusting, and you can hop to their note on the subject, too. Mark Ward, VP of Acquisitions for Anchor Bay, was released from this role. If you are a reader here, you know that we spend some time discussing the studio goings-on because, for you and I to see certain films, they must be greenlit by, or picked up for distribution by, the names you see float across this transom.

Mark Ward has been a friend of the genre for some time, either picking up obscure little gems or releasing the classics. Anchor Bay is responsible for video distribution of The Evil Dead trilogy, in multiple incarnations, as well as films from Argento and the well-done packaging of Dawn and Day of the Dead. Ward is to thank for some of these presentations, and he certainly has been integral in making Anchor Bay beloved among horror fans.

We certainly wish Mr. Ward the best of luck and cast a stern eye towards his former employers. Don't screw this up, Anchor Bay. You have a lot of goodwill in the horror community, for very good reason, but don't drop the ball on us. It's between Anchor Bay and the sub-shingles of Dimension and Lionsgate to keep us in the red stuff, and Anchor Bay's treatment of their releases have been historically more reverent. Let's hope a changing of the guard doesn't mean a change in vision.

Review: The Strangers

I know I'm late to this one, but here we are. I was finally able to sample the joys of The Strangers in all its unrated, Blu-Ray glory. Boasting that the film is based on a true story, The Strangers treads much the same ground as the French film Ils(Them), but is it as successful?

At the film's outset, the viewer is introduced to James (Scott Speedman) and Kristen (Liv Tyler), a couple in tumult. James has popped the question, but Kristen is not hip to the idea, though the film doesn't spend a great deal of time telling us why. That's okay, this movie has a different agenda.

As the couple attempts to talk through the pain, a strange girl appears at the door, deep into the night, looking for someone named Tamara. As she is turned away, she whispers, "See you later." When James goes for a drive to wash away some of his embarrassment, the strange girl returns, still looking for Tamara. Only this time, she doesn't go away. And, she has friends.

The remainder of the film is an exercise in creating and sustaining tension as James and Kristen attempt to divine the motives of their assailants, or survive them, at least. The ending can be the source of controversy for some, as it may not be as bleak as the tone of the film first suggests, yet I found it satisfying enough.
Coming in under 90 minutes, Bryan Bertino's film is a scare film, pure and simple, and it works, for the most part. Scott Speedman has never impressed me with his genre work in the Underworld films, and he doesn't bring anything to the role that is captivating, but neither is he a hindrance. Liv Tyler, for better or worse, is the queen of the soft whisper. If you dig that, you'll think her performance is astounding. If, like me, you think she's just fine as an actor, but a little goes a long way, it can get a little wearisome.

Again, the actors are not the keys to the film. This is all about mood, and the visual cues that make a horror film a horror film. One shot of Kristen calmly going about the business of the evening as a hooded figure stands behind her, almost faded into the background, is a particularly effective one. There are lots of moments like that, where the audience knows no more than the characters in the situation, and Bertino does a fine job of making the setting real and frightening.
The downsides of the film are few, but keep in mind that this film does not have the ambition of The Exorcist or even The Mist, horror films with something to say beyond the scares. The Strangers is a streamlined scare machine, not without its missteps, but overall very effective. The weight of some of the scenes is almost too great to sustain themselves, but Bertino displays a deft directorial hand, never letting a single image flicker for too long before moving on to the next scare.

Ils may be the superior film, with a creepier ending and a more unpredictable story arc, but The Strangers is to be lauded for being a pure horror film, and succeeding on that level.

Review: The X-Files: I Want to Believe

There are so many ways to mock the title of this film, that I am overwhelmed with options. I like The X-Files: I Want to See a Better Movie. Quick, to the point. At any rate, this is the second feature-length spin-off from the Fox cult television series. I would normally lump this in with science fiction, but I Want to Believe finds itself in definite horror territory.

Unlike Fight the Future, the previous installment in the franchise, I Want to Believe doesn't mire itself in the mythology created and maintained by the show and first film. In fact, there's almost no mention of UFOs in the film at all. Instead, the film finds Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) in exile, wanted by the FBI, although their pursuit is half-hearted, at best. It seems they want to sweep the X-Files under the rug forever. Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) is a doctor, currently administering care to a terminal child. When she is approached by the FBI to locate Mulder to assist with the investigation of a missing FBI agent, Scully sees this as an opportunity to reintroduce Mulder to the world he has avoided for so long.
The crux of the case is this: an agent has gone missing, and the only leads to the crime are furnished by a former priest, Father Joseph (Billy Connolly), who has psychic visions of the crime. Or so he claims. In addition to the natural skepticism of his powers, Father Joseph is a convicted pedophile. Mulder, however, believes in his visions, despite his past, and finds the juices flowing as the investigation leads to another missing woman.

Scully and Mulder have been up to the devil's business, apparently, as there is some talk of a lost child, as well as the doomed romance between them. As Mulder's fervor for the case rises, Scully finds herself at odds with Father Joseph and the manic Mulder that the case has awoken. All of this leads to the gruesome fates of the two women, and a murky storyline involving transplants gone amok.

The upside to I Want to Believe is that this captures the tone of the television series perfectly, from the isolated and wintry setting to Mark Snow's moody music, the vibe is right. The characters still feel true to their small-screen origins, be it Scully's frustrating adherence to the tangible or Mulder's wide-eyed belief, that all works, too. The introduction of Billy Connolly's character is fine, and the scenes between the priest and Scully are among the film's best. The movie is ultimately a letdown, unfortunately.
Here's the problem. The whole movie feels like an episode of the show that has been extended to feature length, and not one of the better episodes, either. I remember the tension of the classic episode "Darkness Falls" and some of the better episodes continuing the mythos of Mulder's hunt for his sister. This film doesn't have the dramatic propulsion of any of that, and it left me wondering how this was supposed to revitalize a franchise that has been in mothballs for a very long time. Maybe it's worth a rent for the X-Philes out there, but for those of us who had only the briefest of flings with the series, there are better ways to spend an evening.

We'll Miss You, Uncle Forry!

Seems like you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a site or blog memorializing Forrest J. Ackerman. Good. His passing last week is a loss to the genres of horror and science fiction, and he represents the best elements of fandom. Unlike many modern fans who are star-obsessed, Ackerman found that the magic occurred behind the cameras, alternately admiring and inspiring the disparate likes of Ray Harryhausen and Tom Savini.

Ackerman blazed convention trails, too, almost single-handedly making them an acceptable form of interaction between fan and filmmaker. He was a writer, an entrepreneur, having bought Amazing Stories, named the character Vampirella, written dozens of short stories... the guy did it all. For those in the horror genre, Ackerman will be forever remembered as the creator and editor of the landmark fan magazine Famous Monsters of Filmland.
I was young when I first became aware of the magazine, and, throughout the years, have been impressed by the number of cinematic luminaries, including Spielberg, Carpenter, Peter Jackson, whose eyes light up at the mention of the magazine. The magazine may have deconstructed the hows of special effects, but it never questioned the whys. It was a reverent periodical, that never sought to scoop or bring low, but rather to celebrate an art form. The smiles you see on Uncle Forry's face in publicity stills were in the pages of Famous Monsters, too, creating a magic that exists until this day.

At our worst, we, as fans of the genre, spend time nitpicking details of film, deriding actors or directors for their choices, or mocking the hard work that goes into the more technical aspects of film. Forrest J. Ackerman represented what is best in fandom, true fandom. It was a celebration of creation, of the imagination of filmmakers who saw in Forrest Ackerman a film lover who was willing to go into any territory a film crew could realize. There will never be another like him, and the world is a little poorer for his passing.

Nazi Zombies!

My schizophrenic take on zombies has officially peaked. After Zombies Zombies Zombies, I thought I had my fill. That is, until recent Sundance entry Dead Snow. You really haven't enjoyed Nazi zombies until seeing the trailer, including, of all things, Beethoven's Ode to Joy. Feast on this...


Also, we are celebrating here the unveiling of the new site, which can be found here. There is still progress to be made, and we will be updating here until the new site is a fully operational battle station.

Bloody Valentine, Hammer and More...

Fresh off the presses is the final poster for My Bloody Valentine 3-D. I know, it looks like it's coming right atcha!


It seems like reality fare is finally invading all aspects of the horror genre. First, there's the film Reality Horror Show, which you can read up on here, the VH1 show Scream Queens, which is offering a would-be star a role in Saw VI, and now Sam Raimi's company is finally releasing 13 - Fear is Real on January 7th on the CW network. The game show will pit contestants against common fears in an effort to collect $66,666. Ah, the prize of the Beast. Click here for more details!

Returning to the horror genre is Oscar-winner Hilary Swank. After the much-maligned The Reaping, which I honestly didn't think was terrible, Swank is now part of the Hammer production The Resident, Variety magazine reports. The star plays a doctor who believes that someone is wandering around her home. Hammer is currently looking for stateside distribution to the Brooklyn-set film.

Horror movie remake, ahoy! For those masochists among who feel that a remake of Friday the 13th, director Marcus Nispel and Platinum Dunces make for a great time, you can check out the new trailer at the official site here. God help us all.

Mid-Week News Update

More Pulse! That's right, as of December 23rd, the apocalyptic series continues, this time with Cabin Fever's Rider Strong. The third in the series of films will be directed by Joel Soisson, who also was at the helm for Pulse 2. As always, a review will follow once this drops.

Over at Firstshowing.net, a new red band trailer has popped up for the indie horror flick Donkey Punch. The film follows a group of party-goers who find themselves in a battle for survival when one falls victim to the titular activity and dies. Quite frankly, this is the sort of movie that sounds like it's going to be intentionally shocking, and that's sort of appealing in this genre. The trailer sells it, too, baby! Have a look here.

Last, but in no way least, is the news that Steven Seagal is starring in a vampire movie entitled Against the Dark. Holy Mother of All Things Awesome, this movie sounds incredible, in that MST3K way that so many of us love. Steven Seagal vs. Draculas. Awesome. The movie hits the street February 10th, 2009. It can't come too soon.

Reality Show Horror

Reality Horror Night is set to begin shooting in Long Island, after gathering a cast of reality show contestants. The film, created by Sean Pomper, takes reality show notables such as Rock of Love's Destiney Moore and Paul Grassi from The Mole and puts them in a new game where their lives are the ultimate prize. Yeah, I've never heard of them, either. Still, for pure schlock value, this could be entertaining.

BenderSpink, the production company responsible for the Butterfly Effect sequels, as well as The Ring Three and Red Eye have snagged the rights to a film version of Michael Marshall's novels / comics The Straw Men. I don't know a ton about this series, other than the fact that it involves a serial killer and a murderous cadre known as the titular Straw Men. With the glut of graphic novels and comics making their way to the big screen, it's hardly a surprise that lesser known titles are getting the cinematic treatment.

Tommy Lee Wallace (Halloween III, Fright Night 2) has a new movie coming soon. Entitled Helliversity, and how has that not been used yet, the film was written by Wallace and Family Matters writer-producer Steve Langford. It involves some foreign exchange students trapped in a haunted university. Wallace's last genre effort was the Carpenter sequel Vampires: Los Muertos. Stay tuned for more info as it becomes available.

Review: Zombies Zombies Zombies

Perhaps it's my love of zombie movies that leads me into dark corners such as this one, but, God help me, I sat through the entire film. Even at its lean sub-90 minute run time, that is no mean feat.

Fast on the heels of Zombie Strippers, a more ambitious film that you can read a review of here, Zombies Zombies Zombies is what happens when a bad screenwriter and a producer with no expectations join forces to deliver a film that strives for mediocrity and falls short. Maybe it was because a few FHM and Playboy alumni were signed on (and they always make the best actors), but something must have led to money being pumped into this production.
Let's get to the story. We have some strippers, all of whom are far nicer and less drug-addicted than any strippers seen before on film, and a friendly bouncer who watches over them. Conversely, outside the walls of the strip club, you have some whores and a pimp who looks after them. Well, mostly he just insults them, but he seems to be their leader. Thanks to a tubby addict who's getting his fix from a local scientist, some inappropriate drugs get stolen and distributed, which turns the user into a zombie. Sure, that works on a metaphorical level, but let's not pretend that the writer of this honker was really shooting for metaphor.

So, whores take drugs, surround strip club, eat a few passers-by, and suddenly you have a strip club surrounded by zombies. A couple of people go visit the doctor, who gets eaten by a stowaway zombie, then come back to the strip club. Blah blah blah.

To call Zombies Zombies Zombies a pedestrian effort is to underplay the staggering awfulness of this movie. You don't expect high art with a title like this, but possibly some fun. I always cross my fingers on these movies, thinking that they are made because the creators felt like they could make a zombie movie that sets itself apart, that has one small thing to recommend itself. Not so with this film. There is nothing here you haven't seen before, executed far better.

Our pal Rob at Natsukashi occasionally reminds me of the moratorium he has called on zombie films. I am beginning to agree. To paraphrase Jeff Goldblum, the filmmakers "were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should." They shouldn't have. This brings nothing new to the genre. This is one of those films that you feel shame for having seen, and it gives ammo to all those critics who complain about horror films being recycled pseudo-pornography. Every viewer will be a little dumber for having seen it. I award it no points, and may God have mercy on its soul.