New Review: Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings

Been away for a while doing uber-creative things, but the holidays are done, work is complete and it's time to tackle some horror viewing, gang.  First up, the third sequel to the hillbilly cannibal film Wrong Turn, this one subtitled Bloody Beginnings.  One would assume this is a prequel of sorts, and the first few minutes certainly serve in that capacity, but this is, at heart, a routine entry into the franchise that does little to illuminate the mythology of the series.

Speaking of the beginning of this film, we're shown, sort of, the "Bloody Beginnings" hinted at in the title, as we see the young versions of One-Eye, Saw Tooth and Three Finger in a mental hospital, where they are diagnosed as "crazy."  It's essentially a tool to set up a new setting for these characters, the mental hospital itself.  The teenage cannibals get free, thanks to some clever lock-picking, and bring hell to the halls of the institution.  It's a particularly mean-spirited and sadistic rampage, but, I suppose, that's what people are coming to these films for at this point.

Flash forward to the present day and a bunch of kids who enjoy drugs and sex and cracking wise are on their way to a cabin for a ski weekend.  They hop on their snowmobiles and inevitable make a ... DUM DUM DUM!... wrong turn, which lands them at the local abandoned mental institution.  In relatively short order, the cannibals, who have apparently taken up residence here, start stalking our would-be fornicators and eating them as, and I quote, some kind of f**ked-up fondue.

Look, this isn't a great movie, so let's point out some positives before descending into snark.  First of all, the effects are mostly practical, which takes some of the curse away from some pretty weak CGI.  There's a pretty good gag involving an auger and an abdomen, which was surprising, and the lighting is basic but effective, throwing some fun color schemes of blue and green around the mostly-white institution.

So, that's the good.  I won't obsess over everything that is wrong or disappointing about this movie, but I'll hit the highlights.  The acting... not the best.  Some of the line deliveries are rough, folks.  This is not an ensemble of Altman-esque caliber, but rather some pretty people who say stuff.  No one expects Shakespearean precision, but that doesn't change the cringe-worthy turns from some of these performers.

The script.  One thing that infuriates me as a viewer is the tendency to allow teenagers/young adults to behave like lobotomized apes when making life or death decisions.  Par example, at one point in the film, our heroes have managed to lure and detain the three cannibal killers in a cell.  They leave them to hunt for spark plug wires (don't get me started on that), guarded by one of the guys who assures our cannibals that he will kill them.  Then, he falls asleep.  Why just leave one guy?  Why not some kind of back-up?  These are the mutants who killed and devoured two members of your group and you're cool with putting one dude on guard detail and assuming this will all work out?  And there's a whole lot of screaming about how "We have to get out of here!"  It's a lazy script that doesn't push the Wrong Turn films in any direction besides down the drain.

 Most of the fault lies in the hands of writer/director Declan O'Brien, who has made most of his bones from doing SyFy channel movies of the week, such as Monster Ark, Rock Monster, and directing the now-infamous Sharktopus.  Wrong Turn 4 belongs in that company.  It's a lazy, uninspired, disappointing sequel in a franchise that probably needs to go away now.  We enjoyed your shenanigans, deformed hillbilly cannibals.  It's time for you to go to that great long pork buffet in the sky.