New Review: Apollo 18

Ah, found footage movies, how you tease!  Those lingering shots of a room or corner, simply pausing, awaiting the perfect moment to reveal a little movement or a full-on jump scare.  Sneaky, found footage movies, very sneaky.  Except, the bloom is falling from this particular rose. Sure, there are great examples of this sub-genre, such as The Blair Witch Project and the terrifying [REC], but it's getting a little tired.  To put an exclamation point on this notion comes Apollo 18, a film that uses the found footage trope to tell the tale of a crew of astronauts on the titular Apollo 18 moon mission, a mission that NASA and the United States Department of Defense disavows.

The flight is crewed by handsome family man Ben Anderson (Warren Christie), crew captain and all-around American hero Nate Walker (Lloyd Owen), and the mission's pilot, John Grey (Ryan Robbins).  The three astronauts are sent on a secret mission to the moon, under the pretense that the Department of Defense wants to place cameras and sensors on the surface of the moon to aide in defense against missile attack during the Cold War.  The astronauts must keep the mission itself a secret from their families.

Things go a bit sideways once the LEM (Lunar Excursion Module) hits the surface of the moon.  Once the initial cameras are placed, the two astronauts who descend to the cold surface of the moon, Ben and Nate, do a little exploring.  When they find footprints that don't conform to the boots they wear, things get interesting.  Upon further investigation, Ben and Nate find a Russian lunar capsule, still in working order, but with blood spatters and at least one missing cosmonaut.  Startled by the discovery, the crew returns to their own capsule to store some moon rock samples and discuss what they have found with Ground Control, who, it turns out, knew the Russian capsule was there all along.  Soon, skittering noises and a few items going missing (or just misplaced) begin to freak the astronauts out, with good reason.  If you and your shipmate are the only living beings on the damn moon and you start hearing transmissions, it's apt to bring on a flaming case of the willies.  And, to be fair, at this point in the movie, I was on board.  I like the setup, I like the isolation of the setting, I even like the actors for the most part, although their performances are hardly natural, leaning more towards the sort of theatrical performances you expect in a film.  But, here I am - a half hour into Apollo 18, and I'm on the movie's side.

**SPOILERS**

Such goodwill is lost, however, as soon as things get horrific.  As it happens, Nate goes outside the module to check on some strange goings-on, then starts screaming about something being in his suit.  When Ben reaches him, he's unconscious.  Back on board the LEM, they discover a piece of moon rock buried in Nate's side.  Although this is quickly removed, an infection sets in making Nate engage in some off-puttingly strange behavior and the gradual realization that the rocks hold the key to the mystery of the missing cosmonaut and the real reason for their journey to the moon.  Yep, rocks.  We later learn that the moon rocks are really these bug creatures that just look like rocks.  Very scary.

In a discussion of The Happening, I once pointed out a major failing of that film was where it derived its source of fear - in that case, trees and gentle breezes.  In this case, it's moon rocks.  Moon rocks aren't scary.  Even if they become skittering bugs, still not scary.  Which is a shame, because there are things about Apollo 18 that I really like, but the second half of the movie is an exercise in avoiding the words "Rocks?  Really?" from banging around your brain pan.  One shot involved using a (theoretically) added highlight to point out where the viewer's attention should be drawn.  It's a nice moment where the footage does feel "real," but the movie rapidly returns to jump scares and watching nothing happen for stretches of time. 

Though the film suffers from other faults, for one an over-reliance on the jump scare when the more subtle moments work so much better, the fact that the central Big Bad is so goofy makes the rest of the film fall apart in short order.  Waiting until the final moments to reveal a disappointing villain leaves a bad taste in the viewer's mouth that makes this a skip, rather than a recommendation.  Shame...